Sunday, June 11, 2017

SERENITY SUNDAY: IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO TRY (11-JUNE-2017)



You know one of the best things I truly love about God? His inconceivable patience with me. I can still remember how I used to always tell God that I love him and that I’ll make time for Him, just not today coz I’m very busy, I got so much things to do, I got so much on my plate – that setting aside even a 10-minute exclusive time for Him just seemed to be so much. But you know what I learned and discovered all throughout those years that I didn’t choose to give God the time He so deserves? The more I tried to do everything I want and need to do, the more I struggled with time. It’s as if there’s just not enough time in the world for what I want to happen in my life. But what do I really want to happen in my life?


After resigning from my day job last year, I thought it’s our time to get pregnant and I could simply go back to working from home to earn a little bit of income. I also thought that I could be a better wife if I’ll be working from home. There were just so many things I thought of doing after I resigned. I even thought of becoming a webcomic artist and wished of getting paid for publishing my own comics online. That is why after resigning, the first thing I did was finished my then ongoing story on my Art & Stories channel to practice my drawing skills and to get me back to writing stories. I had high hopes. Working on it kept me very occupied everyday. I still cooked for my husband whenever I could and I still did the chores expected of me like cleaning and laundry, but something was just not right. Every now and then my husband and I would fight, sometimes even over nonsense things and you’d really feel that we’re both very stressed out. But isn’t one of the reasons I resigned was because I was already too stressed from my day job? Why do I get stressed as much as I did when I was still employed? After I finished my story on YouTube, I got so burned out that I decided to give it a rest.

Then I visited my beauty channel. I didn’t imagine how much I have missed making videos for that channel until I saw it again. So I thought, why not re-launch it? But aren’t I too old for it now? I really thought about it until we went back to the Philippines for my baby niece’s Christening and first birthday. I made my decision after that visit to my hometown and before I knew it, I was back to filming, editing and uploading videos again. It was crazy.

And so I thought of concentrating on my beauty channel again. It was actually starting to grow when I left it unannounced in the beginning of 2014 due to unforeseen circumstances. And because I stopped producing contents when it was just about to bloom, my channel quickly became irrelevant. When I started producing new contents again in August of last year, I didn’t think it would be that difficult to re-connect. And so I worked hard. As hard as I could but maybe not hard enough because I wasn’t getting the results I was hoping to achieve. Until I became so stressed out again. There were days I’d just say a little prayer after waking up and will go straight to filming or editing videos, writing or any other tasks which I believed would help me re-establish my brand. Yes I pray, everyday in fact, but slowly my prayers became almost like a tradition, a routine instead of a desire to communicate with God. Furthermore, I started neglecting my husband, the one person I vowed to take care of with all my life until the end of forever. The harder I worked to re-gain all that I thought I've lost, the messier my life became. It reached to a point where I thought going back to working full-time would be the answer. I got so tired. I got so lost.

But God was and still is very patient with me. When I couldn’t see what I really wanted and needed, He showed it to me as clear as crystal. I thought quitting my job last year was a big mistake. I thought I couldn’t just stay at home and be a housewife. I thought others would belittle me if I were just a housewife. I thought I needed to work from home to prove others that I’m not useless. But I was wrong. I was so wrong. It was I who belittled myself. I forgot that I am precious in the sight of God and that I am greatly loved by my husband.

We always pray and ask God for answers, right? But you know what happened to me? It was when I finally answered to God’s voice that my life changed. It’s never too late to try to turn things around for God’s glory. I’m done trying to make it on my own. I am nothing without Jesus in my life. Whatever I could accomplish on my own is nothing to what I could overcome with Jesus Christ. I exist because of Him. It is just right that I make Him the center of my life.

So to end this long novel, it was the beginning of this year that I told my husband I have decided who and what I want to be. I want to be a housewife. I want to take care of him and his needs. I want to cook for him, clean the house, do the laundry and basically make him a happy and satisfied husband. I want to be there for him not when I’m free but whenever he needs me. All the other things I thought I wanted and needed to do before have been re-categorized as my hobbies. I will still make videos. I will still write for this blog. I will still draw. But my priorities have changed. Next to God, my husband is my priority and everything else now takes the backseat.

I wish you a very meaningful Sunday as you enjoy your time with your family. May we all have a wonderful week ahead.


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But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

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